...the world is turned topsy-turvey.
Paul became ill at work last Friday, requiring a visit to the emergency room and a short hospitalization. This was an extremely stressful and difficult time. The good news is that he is home and safe, that this illness is not at all as serious as we originally thought, and Paul has several appointments to have certain test results explained or followed up on. He has been home and will be home all this week.
The big thing now is a change in the way we live and how we balance things. The balance in our lives was almost non-existent, in that Paul was overworked, overtired, on a treadmill, so to speak, and it finally got to him.
But the future always has a ray of hope. The trick is to see the ray of hope in the darkness. To see sane work hours, balanced, healthy meals, time for exercise and relaxation, and time for beauty. To be honest, I am quite afraid that I am not up to the task of providing this for my beloved husband. I feel and have always felt very scattered in my approach to my role as a wife, mother, and grandmother. Although I have many organizational tools at my disposal, my use of them comes in fits and starts. Never a seamless perfection of orderliness and balance. I must confess to a tremendous amount of guilt in the way our lives have been since day one of our marriage, and I am feeling that my deficiencies may have ultimately lead to this current distress in our lives.
My approach then is to put one foot in front of the other as we move through this crisis. And I just pray that God will reach me and show me the way out of this darkness.